Why Try
by am4muzik
Summary: You never know how much a person means to you until the possibility of losing them becomes real. A one shot for a friend of mine who needs to see how much she is loved.


**A/N: I'm so sorry for not posting in the last couple of weeks. So much school work. Ugh. But I'm hoping to get some chapters up this weekend.**

**In the meantime...**

**A One Shot for an amazing AMAZING friend of mine. She's my support system, friend, and sister. I love you, girly :)**

**Oh and this is in Kendall's POV. Enjoy :)**

* * *

"Today's the day, guys!"

I grinned like an idiot as my three best friends and I strolled through the airport on the way to our flight.

"Day you finally lose it?" James snickered, handing our boarding passes over to the flight attendant.

"Lose...?" Carlos prompted.

"His 'V-Card', as James so eloquently put it the other day," Logan smirked.

"You guys are so mean to me," I muttered, growing increasingly interested in my Vans as the conversation wore on.

"We do it cause we love you," James replied, squeezing my shoulder. "But what were you talking about in the first place?"

"Oh right." I brightened up and lifted my head to smile at them. "I'm gonna ask Sarah to be my girlfriend when we get home."

"'Bout time!" Carlos grinned, nodding. "She's gonna be so happy."

"Yeah," I laughed. "Wait...what do you know that I don't?"

"W-What?" Carlos stuttered. "Nothing." He snatched up his carry on and suitcase and ran down the jetway. "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME TALK, KENDALL!"

"Los!" I yelled, grabbing my bags and running after him. "Los, wait! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT SHE TOLD YOU!"

* * *

"Dude, you're like a hyperactive five year old," Logan teased, nudging my shoulder.

Ok fine, so I may have been bouncing in my seat a bit.

Alright, a lotta bit.

"I can't help it!" I laughed. "I'm just so excited! Sarah's been my best friend for so long and after being away from her for this whole summer, I finally realized that I need her as more of a friend."

"Our little boy is all grown up," James cried, wiping away fake tears.

"Fuck. You," I growled.

"No no," James laughed, "I'm _James_. The person you're looking for is _Sarah_."

I turned to Logan, completely exasperated with my idiot best friend. "Can I hit him now?"

"Nope," Logan shook his head. "His only claims to fame are his voice and face. Can't have either one getting damaged."

"HA!" James made a face at me and nodded smugly. "WAIT WHAT?"

"Just saying," Logan shrugged, engrossed in his book. "You know I'm right."

"I have more going for me than just my face and voice...right?"

"Yeah, yeah, you're a regular Prince Charming," Carlos joked.

"I like when you two are on _my_ side for once," I grinned. "It's pretty fun."

"_It's pretty fun_," James mocked, sticking his tongue out at me and crossing his arms in a huff.

"And how old are you again?" I smirked. "Twenty or three?"

"Add them together," he shot back.

"Nah, I'll stick with the second option."

"You know what? I'm gonna-"

"_Passengers, please prepare for landing. We will be arriving in LAX Airport in approximately ten minutes."_

"We're almost home," I breathed out. "Gonna see my Sarah-Bear."

"Please tell me you don't _actually_ call her that," Carlos laughed.

"O-Of course I don't," I blushed.

His face went from one of amusement to one of pure shock. "YOU DO?"

"Didn't I just say I don't?" I questioned him.

"But you blushed. Which means you do."

"Hey guys, Carlos just used psychology," Logan piped up, smiling at us from behind his book.

"Hey look, Logan is capable of multitasking," Carlos shot back at Logan.

"Ok now how is that an insult?" Logan asked, placing his book down on his lap.

Well this just got serious.

"You couldn't on tour."

"Since when?"

"You landed face first on the sidewalk while riding your skateboard and trying to open a door."

"Well no shit! There was a _door_!"

"I'm just saying," Los shrugged, looking to me for approval. "Am I right or am I right?"

"I don't exactly have a choice there," I laughed. "So yeah, I guess you're right."

"And I win," Carlos grinned.

"You guys are idiots," I grinned. "But I love you."

"Yo Prince Charming," Logan laughed and smacked James' knee. "Why'd you get all quiet?"

"Just thinking about Kali," James shrugged. "I missed her a lot."

"I can't wait to go home and see Alexa," Carlos sighed. "Thank god we're finally back."

"I'm so with you on that," I nodded. "I just want Sarah in my arms again."

* * *

I didn't even bother going home.

I took a cab straight to Sarah's house and bounded up the steps, banging on the door as soon as I reached the top one.

"Sars!" I yelled. "You there?"

I listened for footsteps nearing the door and sighed when I heard none. I decided to call her and see where she was when I heard a thud from the upstairs level. Fearing the worst, I fished out the house key she had copied for me in case of emergencies- meaning Friday night hangouts when she was too lazy to get off the couch- and stuck it in the lock, turning it every which way until I was finally able to push the old door open.

"Sarah!" I yelled, heading straight for the stairs and flying up them. "Where are you?"

I stopped in the upstairs hallway and felt a chill run down my spine at the eerie sound of a single drop of water falling every second.

Where are you, Sarah?

I followed the sound of the water and stopped at the closed bathroom door, debating whether or not to go in.

She could be hurt...

But-

No. No but. She could be hurt.

I turned the doorknob and fell to my knees at the sight in front of me.

She was flat on the floor, hair framed around her beautiful face, blood trickling down her arm out of the word TRY.

"Nonononono," I breathed out, pulling her onto my lap and slipping my phone out of my pocket. I quickly dialed 911 and put it on speaker so I could follow any instructions they might give me.

"Sir? Is she breathing?"

I pressed my ear to her chest and shook my head, then remember that the operator couldn't see me and gave a verbal answer.

"An ambulance is already on its way."

"Th-Thank you," I stuttered, taking in a shaky breath.

As I pulled her body closer to mine, I noticed another trail of red coming from her other arm. I shifted slightly and turned it towards me. WHY.

WHY TRY.

That's what she had wanted whoever found her to see.

Oh god.

I cradled her in my arms as silent tears flowed down my cheeks.

This isn't what I meant when I said I wanted to hold you in my arms. I meant to hold you and love you and care for you.

Always.

Not...this.

Please don't leave me, Sarah. Please.

* * *

"I'm not sure she'll recover from this. I'm so sorry."

"What do you mean?" I demanded the doctor as we stood outside Sarah's room. "She's a strong girl, always has been. She should be fine, right?"

"Miss Parker lost a lot of blood. I just don't have a definite answer right now, Kendall. I'm sorry."

"No, please. You have to- have to...fix her," I whined, my voice giving away the emotion I had hidden so well until now.

"We'll do the best we can," he sighed. "I can't guarantee anything."

"Ken?" I turned at the sound of my best friend's voice and came face to face with James, Logan, and Carlos. I allowed myself to get wrapped up in the hug they were offering, filling me with love and support.

"Brought you a change of clothes," Carlos said softly. "We figured you'd want to stay here tonight."

"Thanks guys," I croaked out. "Love you all."

"Love you too," they nodded solemnly. "We'll come and check in tomorrow."

I changed quickly and returned to Sarah's room, pulling a chair up next to her bed and sitting down so I could hold her hand.

"I need you to wake up for me," I whispered. "I can't live without you Sarah-Bear. I need you to know that. Please don't leave me alone. I can't-"

"Oh my poor baby!"

I turned at the sound of Lee Ann Parker's voice. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see my daughter," she snapped. "What happened?"

"She was cutting," I growled, squeezing Sarah's hand tighter. "Why are you here?"

"I'm her _mother_."

"You don't seem to act like it," I shot back.

"You've got a lot of nerve-"

"No, _you_ do," I cut her off. "You've never supported Sarah. In _anything_. Hell, you're probably part of the reason she did this to herself!"

"How dare you!"

"You know I'm right, Lee Ann. And you don't like the fact that I'm right."

"I don't need this," she shook her head.

"Fine. We don't need you either."

She turned back to face me and glared at me. "_We_?"

"We," I nodded, staring her down. "I'm going to take care of Sarah from now on."

"If she wakes up. And you're lucky if she does."

"Get. Out," I snarled. "She _will_ get up, she _will_ recover, and we will never have anything to do with you or your family again."

"Have fun with her. I hope you enjoy staying up all night when she goes into one of her emotional fits."

"I will gladly hold her in my arms all night and listen," I shot back.

Lee Ann moved to the door and sighed. "Goodbye, Kendall."

"Goodbye, Lee Ann," I whispered. "Good luck with your sons."

"Thank you. I'll call to see how Sarah's doing. Or if she's..." Lee Ann trailed off and shook her head.

"She'll be fine," I insisted. "I'll um, I'll let you know."

She nodded and left, and I turned back to Sarah, rubbing the top of her hand with my thumb.

"I'm sorry you had to hear all that," I whispered. "Sarah, I...God." I let out a deep breath and tried again. "Sarah, I love you. I really do. It feels good to say it. I love you."

I kissed her hand and placed it on my knee, taking her other hand in mine like we always do when lying on the couch.

I began softly singing I Won't Give Up to her, waiting for any reaction.

Anything at all.

As I neared the chorus for the last time, I felt hot tears running down my cheeks.

I can't lose her this way. Oh God no.

I sniffled and let go of her hand, rubbing my face with my own.

As I wiped my face free of tears, I felt a tap on my knee and glanced up at Sarah's face.

"Why'd you stop?" she smiled.

"Sarah-Bear," I breathed out.

"Kenny."

"Baby, oh thank god." I crawled up onto the bed next to her and peppered her face with kisses, finally settling for one on her lips.

As I pulled back, Sarah grinned up at me. "Why?"

"I love you. I always have. I finally realized that."

Her face clouded over and she turned away from me. "You mean after I tried to kill myself?"

"No, baby, no," I shook my head. "I missed you so much on tour. I couldn't sleep knowing that you were so far away. I want you to be mine. I _need_ you."

"You- You do?"

"I really do," I nodded.

"Oh Ken," she cried.

I took her face in my hands and kissed her again, trying to convey all my love to her in those few moments.

"I'm sorry," Sarah whispered. "So, so sorry."

"Don't be. I'm just so happy you're alright, baby girl. And Sarah?"

"Hmm?"

"For me."

"Huh?"

"Why try? For me. Because I need you. Because you're my everything. Because I love you."


End file.
